Image credit: Hammer Films, ZDF, Melvin Simon, Walter Seltzer Productions, Film Victoria, AIP, ABC Circle Films, Kelly/Jordan Enterprises, Essay Films
The 70s gave us some unique, strange, and let's be honest, often terrible takes on our favorite undead creatures.
But some of these vampire movies are so laughably bad, they're actually just entertaining enough to watch.
1. Countess Dracula (1971) Countess Elisabeth lives in a castle and discovers that bathing in the blood of virgins makes her young again. She starts off as an old lady but turns into a bombshell after her first bloodbath. Problem is, she needs to keep killing to maintain her youth. Her daughter comes home and starts suspecting something fishy when her mom's lookin' like she just stepped out of a beauty magazine.
The body count rises, and things get messier than a teenager's bedroom.
2. Love at First Bite (1979) George Hamilton as Dracula? It's as weird as it sounds. In this comedy, Dracula is kicked out of his castle in Transylvania by the communist government and moves to New York to find the love of his life. Once in the Big Apple, he goes disco dancing, takes a bite out of the crime rate (literally!), and falls for a model named Cindy. She's dating a psychiatrist, but you can guess who she ends up falling for.
3. Blacula (1972) An African prince named Mamuwalde visits Dracula to seek his help in ending the slave trade. Bad idea. Dracula turns him into "Blacula," and he wakes up in 1970s L.A. Mamuwalde becomes enamored with a woman who looks like his deceased wife. There's a lot of biting and a bit of blaxploitation, but hey, it's the '70s.
The movie was a box office hit, raking in about $1 million (it's actually quite a solid amount for the 1970s), but let's just say it's not winning any Oscars.
4. The Omega Man (1971) Charlton Heston stars as Robert Neville, the last man on Earth after biological warfare wipes out humanity. Well, almost.
Mutated, vampiric creatures roam the streets at night, and they're after him. He holes up in a fortified apartment, playing chess with a bust of Julius Caesar to pass the time (we've all been there, right?). He eventually meets other survivors and works on a serum for the plague.
5. Ganja & Hess (1973) Dr. Hess Green is a wealthy anthropologist who becomes a vampire after his unstable assistant stabs him with an ancient dagger. Now a vampire, Hess has an insatiable thirst for blood. Enter Ganja, the assistant's ex-wife, who comes looking for her missing hubby and ends up falling for Hess. The two share more than just a bed; they share the thirst.
It's less about the scares and more about social commentary, but it's a must-see.
6. Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968, close enough) Dracula is resurrected (again) and finds out that his castle has been exorcised. Yes, they brought a priest and everything. Outraged, he kidnaps the priest's niece Maria as revenge. But Maria's boyfriend, Paul, ain't having it. He climbs icy cliffs and ventures into Dracula's lair to save her.
There's a lot of hypnotizing, blood-drinking, and cross-brandishing before it all comes to a head.
7. Vampyres (1974) Two bisexual female vampires named Fran and Miriam lure unsuspecting men and women to their English mansion. Once their victims are in the house, they're subjected to a blood-letting frenzy. These ladies have a wine cellar filled with bottles of human blood. But hey, they also have relationship problems.
One of their victims turns out to be a bit harder to kill, and the plot thickens like coagulated blood.
8. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) This is a German retelling of the Dracula tale, and it's as artsy as it is creepy. Count Dracula is a frail-looking creature with rat-like teeth. Jonathan Harker, a real estate agent, visits Dracula to sell him a house but soon realizes that he's dealing with a vampire. Dracula travels to Germany and starts draining the life out of the city, including Harker's wife, Lucy.
It's slow but atmospheric, and surprisingly enough, it kinda gives the original tale a run for its money.
9. The Night Stalker (1972) Carl Kolchak is a down-and-out reporter in Las Vegas chasing the story of his career: a vampire serial killer on the loose. The police don't believe him, and his boss thinks he's nuts. But Kolchak is onto something; he starts piecing together clues that point to an ancient vampire named Janos Skorzeny.
Kolchak actually manages to identify the vampire, only to realize that publishing the truth is another challenge entirely.
10. Thirst (1979) In this Aussie horror gem, Kate Davis is abducted by a mysterious organization of modern-day vampires who run a blood farm – like a dairy farm but for human blood. They think Kate is a descendant of Elizabeth Bathory and want her to join their ranks. She's resistant at first but soon starts to embrace her new lifestyle.
