Image credit: Castel Film Studio, New Line Cinema, Paramount Pictures, Palm Pictures, Téléfilm Canada, Gaumont, New Horizons Picture
Cheesy dialogue, questionable special effects, and plots that are as thought-out as your average fanfic.
Forget "Twilight" (which is a masterpiece in comparison): these vampire films are so deliciously bad, you can't help but love them.
1. "Bloodstone: Subspecies II" (1993) This sequel picks up right where we left off, with the vampire Radu (Anders Hove) resurrecting his stone-statue-ified dad in order to learn the secrets of the Bloodstone, a gem that drips the blood of the saints.
Cue Michelle (Denice Duff), an American student in Romania who inherits the gem and a whole lot of trouble. Radu, with his Nosferatu-esque long fingers, is determined to train Michelle as his fledgling, but she's got other plans.
2. "Bloodlust: Subspecies III" (1994) Picking up literally minutes after the second film ends, "Bloodlust: Subspecies III" continues to follow the tragic Michelle as she falls deeper under Radu's influence. While she struggles with her emerging bloodthirsty desires, her sister Becky (Melanie Shatner) teams up with the vampire-hunter Radu killed in the first film (because why would death be the end for a vampire slayer?).
With a dungeon that seems to have a revolving door policy, Radu's maniacal plans, and Michelle's internal conflict, the plot meanders through dark corridors and moral quandaries.
3. "Embrace of the Vampire" (1995) Alyssa Milano sheds her "Who's the Boss?" innocence as Charlotte, a chaste college freshman who's haunted by erotic dreams of a brooding vampire (Martin Kemp). This vampire, an old, old soul, believes Charlotte is the reincarnation of his lost love and has until her upcoming birthday to convince her of this fact.
What follows is a battle for Charlotte's soul (and virginity) between her dull-as-dishwater boyfriend and the seductive creature of the night.
4. "Vampire in Brooklyn" (1995) Eddie Murphy goes for the jugular with comedy in "Vampire in Brooklyn," playing Maximillian, the last of a line of Caribbean vampires who comes to Brooklyn in search of a half-vampire mate to ensure his survival. Angela Bassett's NYPD detective Rita has no idea what's in store when this smooth-talking bloodsucker lands in her precinct.
The story juggles Murphy's shape-shifting antics (he plays multiple characters, because of course he does) and Bassett's slow realization of her true nature.
5. "Blood & Donuts" (1995) This Canadian cult classic serves up a tale of Boya, a vampire who wakes up from a long nap (since 1969, to be exact) and finds himself in the 90s, befriending a taxi driver and falling for a doughnut shop waitress. It's less about the horror and more about the ennui of immortality.
Boya's not your typical vampire; he's got scruples, avoids human blood, and loves his pet rats. But don't be fooled; there's still trouble. A past victim of Boya's is out for revenge, and a gangster complicates things further.
6. "Dracula: Dead and Loving It" (1995) Mel Brooks takes a stab at the vampire genre, and not even Dracula is safe from his comedic bite. Leslie Nielsen sinks his teeth into the role of the infamous Count, who relocates to Victorian London and begins his usual antics.
However, Brooks' parody means everything is over the top: from Dracula's mind control (which has more misses than hits) to his blood-sucking seductions (which are more laughable than lustful). Alongside Nielsen, we've got Peter MacNicol as the bug-eating Renfield, whose loyalty to Dracula is as misplaced as his sanity.
7. "To Sleep with a Vampire" (1993) In this sultry and somewhat brooding film, Scott Valentine plays a vampire haunted by his existential dread and the loneliness of immortality. Enter Nina, a dancer with her own set of problems, and the two find themselves in a hotel room dissecting life, love, and the merits of a good neck nibble.
As the night unfolds, so does their complicated relationship, with the vampire's thirst for companionship rivaling his thirst for blood.
8. "Razor Blade Smile" (1998) The British entry to the vampire B-movie club. "Razor Blade Smile" follows Lilith Silver, a kick-ass, gun-toting vampiress who works as a hitwoman for the British government. When she's not seducing her prey, she's blasting through her enemies with a flair that would make John Woo proud.
The plot is a mishmash of conspiracy theories, ancient vampire sects, and over-the-top action sequences.
